10 Minutes in my Mind

So, in HS, my teacher had us do this thing where we just type what we're thinking. It doesn't have to be complete sentences, just however you're thinking it. So, here's my attempt to let you into my mind.

I love coffee. This caramel mocha is actually pretty good. Some dude beside me is talking about Chris Brown beating up Rihanna,... random. Sometimes, I wonder what the world would be like without cell phones. Every once in a while, I like not having to immediately answer my phone. The world thinks that what it has to say is more important that whatever I'm doing at the moment, which isn't necessarily true. My stomach is growling because I'm thinkin about the delicious trail mix that I got in the Campus Ministries Lounge today. The Craisins are my favorite part. Its pretty ridiculous how little blinking things bug me. Like when it pops up on one of my tabs that someone has sent me a facebook message, and it blinks non-stop, its super annoying. I went to smoke Hookah last night, which was suprisingly pleasant and meade some people laugh, because I went with my boss for next year. Being an RA is gonna be pretty fun. Today at the Genesis, I saw four really nice trucks all parked backwards in the last spaces in the lot, and the first thing that ran through my head was "high school never ends." You know, we all have those kids who think their truck is the stuff and park it backwards in the back parking lot, well, the same is true for Adults at the Genesis apparently. My eyelids are so stinkin heavy right now. Guess who doesn't get enough sleep. Correct. Me. I can't wait for Cornerstone on Sunday evening. Its basically the Spiritual hilight of my week. I've been telling myself that I'm going to read my Bible more, but I find that easier said than done. Maybe I need someone to read passages with. Any takers? I miss my sister... a lot. And Katie and Zach too. I wish I was a better runner. I love to do it, but sadly I'm just not that great. haha. I wish there was a men's volleyball team, that would be pretty stinking cool, though. I'm angry with my Writing Teacher. I wrote a banging research paper, and she gave it a B. I thought, and still think, that it deserves and A. My black bracelet reminds me of Stuco Camp. Its gonna rock being a JC there this summer for a week or so. I want summer weather to be here already. School is stinkin flying by. I think there is only like 5 weeks left. Nuts. I miss HP Friends. Reunion? I miss Justin too. Long distance friendships suck. And long distance relationships. Why can't Kenz just live in Kansas? the question I've been asking for a long time. haha. Spanish is freaking cool. I wanna be fluent. I wish we had sign language classes at Friends. I would do that, too. Sad day. I should enter a belching contest. I bet I could do pretty well. I feel like dancing the night away some time soon. Holla. Concert next Friday, April 3rd. Be there, or be lame. I'm in an Ensemble, which I didn't even try out for, but its still pretty cool. I'm tired of typing. PEACE.

Raw

These next 4 posts will be journal entries from my Houston trip.

Let's start from Friday, Shall we? Ok, lets.

As I was walking into David on Friday monrning, bummed because I knew the Mexicoco groups would soon be crossing the border, Preston Carrie and Angie were walking out. Preston quickly told me that one spot for the Houston mission trip had opened up and invited me to go. After cancelling plans with Shelby, (love you) I decided to go--------> Fast forward.

Sunday night- I got back to Friends, had quesadillas with Amber and Parker, made some banging dirt pudding, and went to Mike Cliffords for Worship and fellowship for the Houston group. We sang, shared feelings and verses freely, and prayed and prepared out hearts and minds for the trip. The most moving part of that experience came at the end. Mike prayed aloud for us all, but his prayer was passionate and sincere. It wasn't just spoken, rather it was almost shouted. He was praying from his Soul. He prayed that was for at least ten minutes, yet it seemed like the shortest prayer I have ever heard. I believe I experienced prayer how God designed it to be...Raw. Heartfelt. A cry. A shout. An exultation. A praise. A longing. A fear. A call for help. It was awesome in every sense of the word. -----> fast forward.

Monday morning - We get on the bust, and I shot straight for the floor to sleep. After uncomfortable attempts to rest, I suddenly heard Patrick screaming "woah, woah, woah!!" Apparently the driver fell asleep at the wheel.

(in high speed) turn around. back at Friends. Played signs. back on new, upgraded bus with new driver. Houston in 10 hours. Good stuff. Sleep.
-----Until Tomorrow
Seth

Heartbroken

Sorry readers, the faithful few, haha. I haven't blogged for a couple-few days. Life has been crazy. WARNING: This could be a long read. I'll try to make it worth your while.

So last Thursday evening my parents called me and dropped a bomb. The Mexico Mission trip that I had been anticipating for so long, the trip that I am passionately collecting shoes for the people there, the trip I had my heart set on for months, the trip I was ready to enjoy myself on, the trip I was ready to spend some time with my favorite sister whom I miss terribly, the trip I was going to get tight with God and see all of his glory even through poverty, the trip that I was going to act as the hands, feet, and mouth of God, the trip I was going to get to practice my Spanish with the young kids during their VBS, the trip I was looking forward to catch up with friends from home, the trip I was going to be a part of something bigger than me... yeah, that trip... they didn't want me to go.

Since the drug and gang violence has been escalating in Mexico for quite some time now, my parents decided that it wasn't safe. Although I did some of my own research and found out that the problem wasn't really an issue in the area that I was headed to, I couldn't make myself go against my parents' wishes, even though many, many things were telling me to go.

Lets just say, Seth doesn't cry. Really, at all. And this night, he bawled like a baby.

I cried out to God in frustration, confusion, feelings of being overwhelmed,... so many emotions came billowing out through those tears. I was mad at my parents because they raised this issue a mere 2 weeks before the trip leaving me little to no time to make other plans. I was mad at those dang drug lords down in Mexico causing all of this stupid drama to take place. I was angry with the reporters that splattered the stories all over the news for my parents to hear. I was mad at everyone for telling me the obvious truth: that it really was dangerous. I was mad at myself for thinking that my plans could ever be set in stone when Jeremiah 29:11 obviously tells me otherwise (you would think that my tattoo would have reminded me of that, but it wasn't until after I saw it in the mirror that I thought of it.)

I was confused as to why God would let this happen when the trip was set aside to do his work. I was filled with rage against Satan, whom I felt was instilling fear and second-thoughts in the parents of Medicine Lodge about the trip. I was longing for my parents to think differently about the situation, like a couple of my other friends' parents who realized the impact that a trip like this could have. I envied my friends who were still going. I had so. many. emotions. at the same time. It was overwhelming.

There were so many things telling me to go. The funds for my trip came entirely from outside sources and from my home congregation. entirely. and they came in so quickly that I didn't even have to think about paying for any of the trip on my own. My friend Megan and I were set to collect shoes to give to the shoeless people in Mexico because something so little really would make their life better. My passion for this trip was unparalleled to the last two times I had been, and it was apparent.

After wrestling with God over the pros and cons of going...after arguing with my famliy about God's will for man and my role in the group going... and after kicking myself at the thought of missing the BEST fish tacos known to man, I decided not to go. I think now I know the true feeling of a broken heart... and lets just say... it sucks.

My role in this mission trip NOW is to pray constantly for those who are so blessed to go. To pray that they use their time wisely and make a positive impact for God and his followers. Oh, and I'm still taking shoes if you want to bring them by my room before Wednesday, that would be a giant blessing to me and the Mexican people. Thanks for letting me plug my own humanitarian effort. I sound like Bono. bahaha.

On a somewhat lighter and less bitter note, I wanna blog about what I got out of the Cornerstone last night.

Carrie was talking about what heaven would be like for each one of us, and that she believed there was a room made entirely of marble awaiting everyone in heaven. And in those marble rooms were picture frames. The frames were no ordinary frames, they were scattered about the room and hung everywhere. There was a picture of everyone you had ever made an impact on in your entire life, good or bad, hanging somewhere in the room.

And when you went and touched each individual picture, the picture would jump out of the frame and describe to you how you impacted their life.

And after she said that, I got to thinking...What will people say about me when I'm gone? Will they have more good than bad to say? Will they have any good to say? WHO all would be in my room? Who all have I impacted or made an impression on that lasts.. that sticks around.

So I guess the point of this last part is kind of just to reflect on my life. What I have done, who I have impacted, who has impacted me, and whether it was a good or bad influence I made. If you haven't ever considered that, I urge you to do just that. Its pretty crazy what God reveals to you when you do.

Well, thanks for listening to my never-ending rambling monolaug (spelling?). I'm sure it was the thrill of your life. haha. Until next time...

Cerebral Slushies

I. Hate. Playing. Videogames.

With a passion.

I think that my hatred spurred from not being able to play Donkey Kong on the N64 without getting sick to my stomach. In fact, I know thats what it is.

Another thing I despise is when all that my friends do is game. It. Makes. Me. Wanna. Strangle. Something. haha. I wake up, go to class, and when I come back, everyone is the room is playing some video game, mostly Call of Duty 4. I leave to work out, grab some coffee, do some homework, and many times when I return, they are STILL playing the same game. Every night when I got to sleep, my roomie is playing X-box live until the wee hours of the morning.

And, when someone plays X-Box LIVE, or COD for that matter, it seems to always be coupled with talking loudly through your headpeace to your partner or yelling profanities if someone kills you.

Don't get me wrong, I love the roomies. They're all cool guys, but someday, I think that their brains just might turn into Cerebral Slushies on account of all the time spent droning in front of the TV screen. Sounds delicious, right?

Heath Bars and Falafal

So, as many of you know, my favorite sister and I are fasting from meat this year for Lent. My thinking about this is that since Jesus gave up food entirely for 40 days, I think that giving up meat could possibly give me a small insight into what Jesus went through.

So while Shelby came and visited me today, we went to Bella Luna Cafe over on Maize road. We decided to try the Falafal aka a Veggie Burger. Both of us were nervous, because lets face it. Veggie burgers don't exactly have a good reputation. Its kind of like knock-off Oakleys, or some cheapie Spongebob Mp3 player (thats right sister, I just went there), it sounds like a good deal, but the glasses don't fit right, the Mp3 player only holds 15 songs, or the Veggie burger is bland in your mouth leaving you begging for water.

But, in all actuality, the veggie burger...... was...... SO GOOD! I will definitely be getting another one, except it was giant, so I think it will work for two meals, and it was less than $7. SCORE.

And yes, I realize that my title is arbitrary and misleading, however, Heath bar somewhat pertains to this blog. While at Winterjam '09, possibly THE best concert I have EVER attended, my friend Casey Long and I stuck around to actually meet Brandon Heath, my favorite artist of the evening by far.

After purchasing his blue shirt, which is amazingly comfortable, we stood in line for a good 30 minutes to get his autograph and a picture with him. Mission accomplished.

So, enjoy the pic of Brandon Heath and I, be envoius of my autographed T-shirt, and go out and try a veggie burger.