I swore never to be the guy that lets his guard down. I told myself that I wouldn't search for a girl, that I would let God bring her to me. I promised myself that I wouldn't fall head over heels for a girl at such a young age, because its outrageous to be "so in love" when I'm this young with so much life ahead of me. I haven't been upholding these promises to myself at all lately, when I sit back and think about it.
And yes, I know I just wrote a blog not too long ago about hating the fact that everyone is obsessing over who they're meant to be with for the rest of their life. But I think the reason that I wrote that blog, is because I've been acting like one of those people lately.
You see, I've had a crush on this girl for a couple months now. And I've tried not to like her, I really have. But for some reason, I can't seem to not like her. I know that may make absolutely no sense, and no, I'm not in love by any means nor am I creepily obsessing over her.
It like theres this occasional monologue inside my head that goes something like : "I should talk to her soon, but what if I tell her that I like her, and she doesn't respond. I don't want there to be an uncomfort between us. But if I never step out on a limb and say something, how will I know how she feels? Sometimes she acts like she likes me, sometimes she doesn't. Ugh. This is dumb. Just stop liking her. If she doesn't like me, then I feel like I'm wasting my time by pursuing her. I'm so confused."
Sometimes I wish I could take out a part of my heart. More specifically, the part of my heart that longs to be with someone and put it on a shelf, then throw it back in when I need it. If only, if only...
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Realizing
I'm realizing several things about life.
1. People change, sometimes for the better, and sadly sometimes for the worst. I recently got the chance to hang out with Dan Flynt, a friend that I met last semester. I'm amazed at how much Dan has changed over the summer, and just how much I can learn from him. Listening to his story over Hookah last night reminded me of the power of God's love and his grace. I'm excited for him.
2. Colleges like to make you run around. Yesterday, all I needed was a simple sheet of paper stating that I attend college at Friends U. So, I went to the registrars office, and stated this simple need. Lady #1 sent me back to Lady #2, who in turn sent me back to Lady #1, only to make her mad and walk me back to Lady #2. For real, Friends U, get a system worked out?
3. You can't judge a book by its cover. One of the guys in my section of Green Hall is a 6' 3", 250 lb football player from Atlanta. I was intimidated by him at first, but after talking to him at the community service project yesterday, I realized that he is an intelligent, funny, and passionate guy and I hope that I get to talk to him some more. I hope that I get to know all of my residents better.
4. Confessing my sin helps me overcome it. A couple weeks ago, a friend and I had an "accountability session," where we told eachother what we were struggling with and wanted change in our lives. God definitely showed me that I was not the only one going through this problem, because this friend had the exact same issue. I knew we were friends for a reason, and God reaffirms that all of the time.
I hope that God keeps stretching me and teaching me things. I kinda like it, haha.
1. People change, sometimes for the better, and sadly sometimes for the worst. I recently got the chance to hang out with Dan Flynt, a friend that I met last semester. I'm amazed at how much Dan has changed over the summer, and just how much I can learn from him. Listening to his story over Hookah last night reminded me of the power of God's love and his grace. I'm excited for him.
2. Colleges like to make you run around. Yesterday, all I needed was a simple sheet of paper stating that I attend college at Friends U. So, I went to the registrars office, and stated this simple need. Lady #1 sent me back to Lady #2, who in turn sent me back to Lady #1, only to make her mad and walk me back to Lady #2. For real, Friends U, get a system worked out?
3. You can't judge a book by its cover. One of the guys in my section of Green Hall is a 6' 3", 250 lb football player from Atlanta. I was intimidated by him at first, but after talking to him at the community service project yesterday, I realized that he is an intelligent, funny, and passionate guy and I hope that I get to talk to him some more. I hope that I get to know all of my residents better.
4. Confessing my sin helps me overcome it. A couple weeks ago, a friend and I had an "accountability session," where we told eachother what we were struggling with and wanted change in our lives. God definitely showed me that I was not the only one going through this problem, because this friend had the exact same issue. I knew we were friends for a reason, and God reaffirms that all of the time.
I hope that God keeps stretching me and teaching me things. I kinda like it, haha.
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Love-sick
Sickness isn't anything new, and neither is love-sickness. Love sometimes appears to plague someone's life. The search for love can completely consume someone's life. People are absolutely longing to find that one person who can complete their lives and make this life meaningful. Well, honestly, I'm sick of love-sickness.
I think that a pretty common dream of college students goes like this: I'm gonna go off to college, leave all of my past behind and start over. I'm gonna find that perfect girl/guy, and its gonna be love at first sight. We're gonna get married and live a long, happy life together.
Well, I'm sorry to tell you, thats not always how it works.
I can't begin to tell you how frustrated I am that guys are combing through girls trying to find someone that will make them feel special. I recently heard about a guy that I know making a list of about 6 girls, and each time he lost interest with them, he would cross them off and add another girl the "the list."
I'm sick of everyone forgetting about all their other friends to hang out with their fling of the week. Its honestly disgusting. Sorry if I sound like I'm ranting, but I just don't see how you can ponder marrying someone that you've known for less that 4 months. Seems a little outrageous to me. And when you talk about her all of the time, and I mean all of the time, what are you going to fall back on when she isn't in the picture. Ugh...
Oh, and I'm sick of always being "philospohical" and "deep." What happened to hanging out PURELY to have a good time, take some stress off, and get in a couple laughs. More often than not, friends call me to hang out because they're pissed off and need someone to talk to. And, being the nice guy that I am, I always soak in all of their problems, and most of them (not all) even care enough to ask about whats going on in my life. Maybe I'm sick of always hearing drama because I feel like thats all that ever happens. So, next time you're having drama, instead of solely talking to me about it, for a change, lets do something fun to get your mind off of it. I like fun.
Steamy blog. I apologize.
I think that a pretty common dream of college students goes like this: I'm gonna go off to college, leave all of my past behind and start over. I'm gonna find that perfect girl/guy, and its gonna be love at first sight. We're gonna get married and live a long, happy life together.
Well, I'm sorry to tell you, thats not always how it works.
I can't begin to tell you how frustrated I am that guys are combing through girls trying to find someone that will make them feel special. I recently heard about a guy that I know making a list of about 6 girls, and each time he lost interest with them, he would cross them off and add another girl the "the list."
I'm sick of everyone forgetting about all their other friends to hang out with their fling of the week. Its honestly disgusting. Sorry if I sound like I'm ranting, but I just don't see how you can ponder marrying someone that you've known for less that 4 months. Seems a little outrageous to me. And when you talk about her all of the time, and I mean all of the time, what are you going to fall back on when she isn't in the picture. Ugh...
Oh, and I'm sick of always being "philospohical" and "deep." What happened to hanging out PURELY to have a good time, take some stress off, and get in a couple laughs. More often than not, friends call me to hang out because they're pissed off and need someone to talk to. And, being the nice guy that I am, I always soak in all of their problems, and most of them (not all) even care enough to ask about whats going on in my life. Maybe I'm sick of always hearing drama because I feel like thats all that ever happens. So, next time you're having drama, instead of solely talking to me about it, for a change, lets do something fun to get your mind off of it. I like fun.
Steamy blog. I apologize.
Friday, August 7, 2009
Action Verbs
When I was in Middle School, we learned ALL about verbs. We learned that there are active verbs, passive verbs, helping verbs, ect. Well last night, I was writing a list of all of the verbs that I wanted to keep in mind as I went through this year of school. They include:
Pray - daily, build it into my schedule and don't make excuses.
Rest - take some time for myself. learn how to say no.
Discern - decide what is "of God" and what isn't in my life.
Ask - the hard questions. figure out what I believe in.
Solidify - make myself a firm, and solid leader. judge fairly and unconditionally.
Revamp - do something new and make life more interesting.
Wonder - be curious and try something new with new people.
Create - something helpful for me. Posters, reminders, charts, trackers, whatever. Go big.
So, if any of you avid readers see me not doing any of these things, knock me around a little bit and tell me to get my act together. I might be mad for a minute, but I'll appreciate it in the long run.
Pray - daily, build it into my schedule and don't make excuses.
Rest - take some time for myself. learn how to say no.
Discern - decide what is "of God" and what isn't in my life.
Ask - the hard questions. figure out what I believe in.
Solidify - make myself a firm, and solid leader. judge fairly and unconditionally.
Revamp - do something new and make life more interesting.
Wonder - be curious and try something new with new people.
Create - something helpful for me. Posters, reminders, charts, trackers, whatever. Go big.
So, if any of you avid readers see me not doing any of these things, knock me around a little bit and tell me to get my act together. I might be mad for a minute, but I'll appreciate it in the long run.
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