I could seriously write a myriad of blog posts over my first week with families at K-Kauai. The sheer quantity of laughable experiences I've had this week is enough to rival the amount of TLC shows that feature families with excessive amounts of children. As much fun as articulating all of these would be, here's my attempt to keep it brief.
Duct tape has become a staple here at Kamp.
And yes, I realize that the prior sentence doesn't make a lot of sense if you read it literally. Imagine folding a duct tape into staple form and punching it through paper... anyways...
I work a water activity nearly every afternoon here at Kamp. In order to take off my shirt and display my extremely cut and largely attractive chest and midriff, I must cover up my tattoo. When kids ask why I have it there, I make up funny stories. I usually tell them,
"Oh, someone poked a hole in me and if I don't keep it covered up, I'll deflate like a balloon."
That usually only works for kids under 6. I told an 8 year old girl that someone scratched me and that I didn't want to get chlorine in it. This is how our dialogue went:
Zoey: Seth, why do you have that tape on your chest?
Seth: Someone scratched me.
Zoey: That's a lie.
Seth: No its not.
Zoey: The Bible says don't lie. YOU have a tattoo.
Seth: Uhh... ok, ok. You're right I have a tattoo.
Zoey: What's it say?
Seth: Jeremiah 29:11
Zoey: "For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Seth: Wow.
Yeah, I got schooled by an 8 year old with an attitude.
Kids can't hold it long when they have to potty.
My 7 year old friend Taran proved that to me this week. During kids night, we sat Indian style on the floor of the jungle dome gym and ate mystery hot pockets (Literally. No one knew what was inside). Taran refused to eat a hot pocket, chips, or the orange that I convinced him was magic and would make him a better basketball player.
He was picking at his orange when all of a sudden, his eyes got huge and he raised his head in a "That's-so-Raven" style motion and declared,
"I HAVE TO POTTY. NOW!"
*If you don't know what I mean by "That's-so-Raven" style motion, check out this video.
He then proceeded to initiate a countdown sequence from 15. Taran and I sprinted to the office to use the restroom. His countdown ended before we got there, but thankfully there was no blastoff. He made it in time. Thank God. I don't know how I would deal with cleaning that up.
Canoes and I are mortal enemies.
Seriously. If I could create a Mortal Combat game and its characters, I would be one and a Canoe would be the other.
On day 4 I was surprised to see my name on the schedule for a canoe trip. I don't canoe. I have canoed before, but not enough to teach families how or to lead them down a river and back to Kamp. The trip was called "Rainbow Descent." There were no rainbows, the descent was aweful, and I almost puked several times in my canoe.
My director dropped me off three miles upstream with 15 canoes. Families arrived shortly after. I got everyone a life jacket and paddles and sent them off. I was supposed to follow behind them and make sure they were doing okay and that no one tipped over. That was all fine and dandy, but I didn't realize that canoeing by myself would be so hard. Heck, I didn't even know that it was possible to canoe solo.
To summarize: It was hot. I was exhausted. My water was at the front of the canoe and I couldn't just walk up and get it because that would tip the canoe. I sweat through ever article of clothing I was wearing. I almost vomited from physical exertion and dehydration. It was literally the most difficult physical activity I have ever done. I was honestly at the point of cursing God, questioning the decision to put me on the canoe. The canoe was back heavy, so every time a breeze came or a motor boat sped by, my canoe spun around entirely and refused to correct itself.
Now, at the risk of sounding like the corny preacher who relates every life experience back to his sermons, I'm going to explain what happened afterwards.
I remember at one point my arms and shoulders were throbbing from paddling. I screamed, "God, help me. I honestly can't finish." Not long after, my muscles almost went numb and I went into machine mode. I kept paddling despite exhaustion and, after another 30 minutes, I finally made it back to Kamp. I think that it was the first time that I have ever seriously depended on the physical strength of the Lord to pull me through a hardship. I was emotionally, physically, and mentally taxed from that trip, but God strengthened me and pulled me through.
So, overall, Kamp is great. The families are great.
Christy Nockels and her family are here this week and she lead worship for our staff. I convinced 40 seven to eleven year olds that I am from Yugoslavia and that I speak 7 languages. Life is good.
Peace, love, and pray for me ya'll.
Seth
