The Biggest Lie I've Ever Told

I owe you all an explanation. I did something recently that was so outside of my character... something that I was confronted about by many concerned people. I misled so many people by what I posted... and the sad thing was....

I liked it.

I didn't just like it. I giggled all day about it. Go ahead and guess what I am about to apologize for.

Well... in all honesty...I'm apologizing for telling the biggest lie I've ever told.

Well, to vindicate myself, it was all in the name of April Fool's Day. Let me start from the beginning.

Step 1: I changed my facebook birthday to April 1st.

Step 2: I allowed 74 gullible, but well intention people to wish me the happiest of birthdays.

Step 3: Monitor my facebook closely and delete any mentions of April Foolery on my wall.

Step 4: I lied to the faces of some of the sweetest people I've ever met. To name a few, Sarah Stoeffels, Lacey Landenberger, Bo Pratt, Bobbi Ruiz, Kassie Welch, and Kayla Loper.

Step 5: My roommates decide to capitalize.

Step 6: We devise a plan to throw me a fake surprise birthday party.

Step 7: We remember, suddenly, that it's out friend Nate Johnson's birthday.

Step 8: Turn my fake surprise birthday party into a real surprise birthday party for Nate.

Step 9: Contact all people who know that its not my real birthday and beg them to play along with the prank.

Step 10: Have Brandon, my roommate, convince Bo Pratt, my very good friend, to "distract me while people gather in our room to surprise Seth."

Step 11: Bake a fake birthday cake for me, and a real birthday cake for Nate. Hide the real cake in my room.

Step 12: Have the entirety of Friends University Campus Bingo sing Happy Birthday to me (not in the original plan. Thanks Bobbi!).

Step 13: Lie, lie, lie. Seriously. I lied to so many people's faces. Even when they shouted at me, I kept my cool. I'm a good liar.

Step 14: Nate realizes that today isn't actually my birthday. We let him on the secret, but neglect to tell him that its actually a surprise for him.

Step 15: Bingo ends. Bo and Bobbi (who are still in dark, mind you,) take me to get a "celebratory 21st birthday QT drink!" Bo and Bobbi stall while the "surprise guests," 25 in all, gather in my room.

Step 16: I continue to lie to Bo and Bobbi and act like I have no idea what's really going on.

Step 17: Bo and Bobbi take me to my room, and follow me in. People are waiting with the lights off, and as I flip them on, they start a rousing bout of "Happy birthday."

Step 18: I act embarrassed, once again lying. Then I convince them that I want to capture this moment on digital camera.

Step 19: I sneak into my room, grab Nate's cake, walk out of my door, and start yet another, even more rousing round of "Happy birthday," this time replacing my name with Nate's.

Step 20: Nate is shocked. Nate is happy. I confess my sins. We eat cake.

Step 21: Bo and Bobbi, still confused, hate me.

Step 22: We enjoy cake, company, laughs. All is well.

I hope this exhaustive step-by-step list helps you understand just how intricate this lie was. I mean seriously, what lie has 22 steps? I submit that mine is the only one.

So here's my formal apology.

First, to the 74 kind and thoughtful people that wrote on my wall wishing me a happy birthday. I apologize for misleading you to believe that my birthday was on April Fool's day.

Second, to Sarah Stoffels, Lacey Landenberger, Kassie Welch, and Kayla Loper. I feel as if you all took the brunt of this joke. It wasn't my intent to exploit you, the sweetest people in existence.

Third, to Nate Johnson. Sorry for stealing your birthday. And sorry for the 25 people who sang happy birthday to me right in front of you. That was low.

Fourth, to the attendees of the Bingo Las Vegas. I rue the fact that I stooped to the point of standing up and acknowledging your congratulations in the bingo hall.

Fifth, to my future bosses, Sarah Jewell and GT. What an awful first impression this note must give you. I understand if you want to terminate my employment, but... PLEASE DON'T.

And finally, to the people I hurt most during this whole shenanigan: Bo Pratt and Bobbi Ruiz. I apologize for lying to you literally every second that I spoke with you yesterday. You are two of the most amazing and kind people that I know, and I'm honored to have spent my "21st" with the two of you. I owe you.

All is fair in love and war... and April Fool's Day.