"Momma! He's NAKED!"

So many hilarious things happened to me on my run today.

I made my way to the Keeper of the Plains statue in Wichita. While I was running, I got extremely thirsty. I remembered that there was a water fountain there. For a moment I felt apprehensive about drinking water from a pu

blic fountain, but then I recalled what I had just written yesterday about public water infrastructures. Silly rabbit...

As I approached the statue, I saw a group of people standing in a circle. I couldn't tell if they were praying or chatting. I've seen a wedding there on occasion and was afraid that I was about to run shirtless through a ceremony. I was relieved to find out that it was just baseball moms and dads talking logistics. I had the fountain in my sights, and when I got literally 3 steps from it, 5 tee ball players shoved their way into a line in front of me. I can't believe I got bullied/beat in a race by 6 year olds. One boy to the side just kept staring at me... I think he was jealous that I have a tattoo that doesn't rub off.

So finally I got a drink, then I headed down the sidewalk towards exploration place. All was fine, until a stampede of Kindergarteners swarmed onto the path in front of me. I dodged, ducked, dipped, dived, and dodged my way through them successfully, but not without being noticed. Towards the end of the mob of children a girl in a yellow shirt was gawking at me (she was jealous of my tattoo, also). She looked at me, looked at her mom, looked back at me, looked back at her mom, and just as I passed, shouted, "Momma! He's NAKED!"

For the record, my running shorts aren't THAT short. There's a solid amount of coverage. They're not those shorts with the slits up the sides that are borderline public indecency. Nay, mine are not those shorts you get from Dick's Sporting Goods. Mine are from the source of all modest clothing:: Target.

I kept running and when I got to the stoplight, I waited for the green. When the light turned green, I made my way into the crosswalk. Lady driving the black buick must not have seen me, because she decided to turn right just as I crossed her section of the crosswalk. She slammed on her breaks, averted collision, and did what any normal, middle aged woman would do: she pursed her lips at me.

Woah, lady. Honking is one thing, but pursing your lips?

Dang.

That's cruel.