My most mint mishaps

I feel like life would suck if you didn't know how to make fun of yourself. I long to be one of those people who continuously reflects on the oddities and embarrassing moments of my day and turn them into a comical anecdote.

For instance, last Friday I decided to spend my afternoon reading the Bible at Meads Corner. I ordered my hot drink, sat at my table, and proceeded to read. After a minute or two, I lifted my cup to sip the sweet, sweet life-giving java that it contained. While drinking, I felt a sensation on my leg akin to my phone vibrating in my pocket. I didn't think much of it. When I looked down to check my phone, I saw that the phantom vibration actually turned out to be my drink seeping through a poorly secured lid and cascading onto my bright white shorts. Oh, and it was burning the CRAP out of my inner thighs. Try explaining that one to the doctor giving you a physical.

I opted to play it cool. After the burning sensation stopped, I said to myself, "Ok. Just let the coffee dry and the stain will be less noticeable when I get up from my chair." I nonchalantly perused my Bible for another 20 minutes, letting the brown serum seep into the cloth. This whole time I thought, "AH! I should have invested in a Tide-to-go Pen!"

When it dried, I grabbed my sweater and used it to conceal the stain with all the finesse of a elementary school child trying to conceal the Sour Punch Straws that he slipped into his mom's shopping cart. Which, for those of you who have never seen "that kid," it looks way unnatural. And so, with my stained short fronts I strode proudly out of the room anxious to destain them.

See? I could have not told you that story and deprived you the privilege of laughing at my leg burns. So, here's another short anecdote.

This morning I decided to buy my class donuts for breakfast. I pulled out of the parking lot in my 2004 Mustang Convertible with the top down, enjoying the cool morning weather. As I was driving, I passed a car that emitted an awful stench. I dismissed it as normal air pollution and kept driving. A few seconds later though, when the car was long gone, I still smelled that terrible smell. I blamed the Wichita air and kept driving, thinking that the city officials really should do something about that odor. When I got to the donut shop, I parked my car and went to put the top up. In order to do so, the parking break must be engaged. I went to pull the parking break, and found it to be already up.

Yep. You read it right. I drove all the way to the donut shop with my parking break on. The friction made godawful odor similar to that of a dead, decaying animal. And to think, I blamed it on an old beat up jalopy and the Wichita maintenance team...

Smooth move, me.

Hope you got some laughs from those. What are some of your most mint mishaps?